The Quest for Stuff

by

Anne Michael

Living in Florida, as I do, much of the year is consumed with talk of and or preparation for hurricanes, both the kind that play football and the storms that wreck everything they touch. It would be easy to become complacent about the big to-do of a hurricane and its damages when one has not touched you personally in recent years. I know a good number of people who will not come to Florida during hurricane season which runs from June to the end of November. Interestingly, I don’t find the prospect of a hurricane nearly as intimidating as the thought of the earth quaking beneath my feet such as they have out in California. At least we have plenty of warning before a hurricane to prepare. When have you ever heard of an early warning system for earthquakes?

The local stores all have sections of “hurricane supplies” including the dollar type discount store near my home. I had to visit it yesterday afternoon to purchase some game prizes for the training classes I facilitate at work. A huge sign in the window announced hurricane supplies. With tropical storm Felix spinning out in the Gulf of Mexico, charting his own new course, hurricane supplies needed to be considered. The thought of purchasing them for a mere dollar apiece made me nervous. I imagined batteries dying after 15 minutes of use, cheap candles that would give off clouds of greasy black smoke and flashlights with bulbs that would not light even with decent batteries, and canned goods with labels in languages I cannot read. Being an inveterate bargain shopper, I had to check out them out anyway since we are coming into the height of the season.

Given the oversized sign, I expected the supplies to be one of the first displays I’d see as I entered the store, and I was astonished to find that this was not the case. The search immediately escalated to that of a quest. Moving past the remnants of summer holiday decorations, a multitude of Halloween decorations, costumes and gimcracks I happened upon a vast array of Christmas decorations, mugs, wrapping paper, and a cheap gift assortment making me quail at the prospect of an interminable Christmas shopping season. Ebenezer Scrooge’s exclamation of “Bah humbug!” came to mind as the trek continued through the discount shampoos, body washes, picture frames, off-brand food stuffs, cheesy housewares and what I term “three-minute toy,” which is the life expectancy of said child amuser upon being removed from its package. The objects of my quest were all the way in the back, perched onto a few wire shelves right next to the books. The book section featured bibles for a buck, kid’s books and books that one won’t likely find on Amazon. Nonetheless, there are books on their shelves. (In all fairness, I must admit that I have lucked out from over the years with finding some wonderful books.) That being said, I do think it was a stroke of genius to make books an essential part of the hurricane preparedness supplies. When the power goes out what a perfect thing to do—read to yourself or read to your kid to while away the stormy hours. And if one is particularly nervous, I would expect that there might be some comfort to be had from reading a bible even if it only costs a dollar.

Believe me when I tell you it is a surprise that there is anything approaching genius at this particular discount dollar store. The staff has trouble with basics like smiling or saying “thank you” after ringing up a purchase. To their credit, however, they have perfected the snarl, the look of disdain and the grunt (which indicates either affirmation or a negative response). I am convinced that the one book the staff will never put out for sale must be titled “Unholy Customer Service” by Luci Fer. I imagine this book to actually be their employee manual. But, hey, lightning can strike in strange places, can’t it? It is Florida, the lightning capital of the world even when its not hurricane season.

My trip was not a total waste of time. I did find the game prizes I needed for my classes. I also found a book for my granddaughter who will experience her first hurricane season; it is full of bugs and puppies. And while I didn’t quite trust the quality of the hurricane supplies I looked at, I did appreciate the big sign on the door, knowing that if I needed it, the discount store could be a port in the storm.


At age 10, Anne realized she was never going to get to be Miss America since reading a book was not an acceptable talent. So she went on to get a job and raise a family. Along the way, she fixed meals, picked up toys, helped with homework, and collected a drawer full of rejection slips for her “great American novel.” It was not all bad, however, since she ended up wallpapering a closet with them. She currently designs and creates greeting cards for her tiny company, The Frog Prints, LLC, and also works full-time as a Training Specialist. Anne is currently tethered to reality by a loving spouse, two dogs, one cat and the occasional hurricane that blows through Florida, although falling headlong and happily into a book is still her favorite “talent.” She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it